a place in the world

Today was one of those days.... where I should've just kept my mouth shut.

So the world does not accept every individual at/in their essence... so you have to work in life as if performing in a play in a theater with audience...

What/who makes worldly concepts if not ourselves?
That is the same reason why I never understood social rules, or ethics, or moral behavior.

All of these three are in essence, co-dependent on people, on culture, on background experiences... Made up from peoples' head...from a set of individuals... yet somehow, everyone (generalizing), expects you to follow/get with the program.... but didn't WE invent the program; The rulez? Then what is so sacred about it? Is it not liable of intervention, reread, rethought? People act as if it was some divine rule that can't be changed or evolved into something different. Even if the rule doesn't work, for instance: to wear a suit in the tropics for work in a multinational cia. Why would anyone want to make another human being suffer in the heat of those godforsaken clothes?

Why is it so impossible to be genuinely stupid, or badly dressed, if you can get the company to profit, if you can do your job as perfect as it can be, if you can be funny to your mates, if you can be friendly,helpful??... Why is this mask more important than our own essence? Who made this call , if not ourselves? Then why can't we mold it to modern days? Or review, or even, to let everyone have a code of conduct of their own? Sure , respecting /obeying the company's law, the government laws and so forth... but there is no law in any contract, that tells you what you should wear, or what you are allowed to comment (not that i've known off...could be wrong just about now... hehehe) ... It is all social rules... social made up/acquisition/heritage/imaginary rules.

Granted that today, the appearance wasn't all that was flawed in my character... I felt completely sincere today... spelled out a couple of truths in a place where I'm not sure I was well heard... I didn't feel out of place on my comments...quite the contrary... but then, even if the person I said it to, was in full form of hearing, I was looked at by the others as a sinner of some sort... like violating a special code, where u don't comment shit like that, not even in private...

There is a phrase that says: "Don't make an effort to show people how you are, if they are committed on misinterpreting u... "

Then, where is the filter? If one has not acquired the filter in the society which one lives, then how can one learn to obtain a certain filter? Should a filter be necessary? Don't we all learn with criticism? Sure, there are ways and ways of saying it... but if u say it, non-violently enough, respectfully enough, shouldn't it suffice?

I was talking to a successful person a couple of days back... and before I go on... successful in my vocab means.... someone who is satisfying his/her desires, being useful to society, having the income anyone should deserve, and being happy...

And in this talk , he , as a lawyer, said, and i'm paraphrasing off course : "I'm not going there(the courthouse) to loose. I'm there to help people, and for that to happen I have to win, and I'm going to win,always. I'm not gonna risk loosing because of the way that I dress, or because of my vocabulary, or because I am headbanger/jazz dude... No... when I get into that courthouse, I'm mr.bad-ass-mofo-fucking-sucessful-son-of-a-bitch-cheerful-know-it-all-convinces-all-mr.win...I can't afford for my people to loose, if I want my quality of life." He is a well known musician, and he says he doesn't work fully with music, because of the payment, and because of the social rules u have to obey, social courtesies, and sucking -upnessess. So he is willing to accept the social rules of behavior in his money-making-profession, but not in his leisure-profession... it's interesting... at least I think there are a lot of nuances to be analyzed here(but maybe some other time).

It was then , and only then, that I realized what I heard once, from somebody I used to know: "To be  yourself inside the rules of the system, that is the real challenge..." And once u have that, you have achieved supreme intellect, because u will then play the ponds as you wish, its a perfect cover up, its just brilliant... maybe it's even what the bible says... code of fucking conduct...

It got me enlightened and sad at the same time...and I had it placed in a box...
Today was exactly the proof that I had taken zero advice, and zero action to change.

I mean we are reassigned in this planet to bring the light out ... to others, out of ourselves, to expand goodness, to just be all we can be, in benefit of another human being. How the fuck, can we dress on a master cape to be all that, in a society that shuts you down at every opportunity? Is there no real opportunity? Can we shine without speaking our minds , or dressing, or acting intrinsically? Sure... but its just plan old boring... Quite sure I'm not enlightened yet...hauhaua... But I'm quite sure, I can make some people smile... it's how I'm able to let the light come through.

Anyways its all just meaningless blabber...

And this day comes to an end with an insight: If you are not being useful to anything/anyone in the world, be it , for yourself.

"Good night everybody"