PEOPLE LEARN A LOT WITH RELATIONSHIPS: IT NEVER REALLY GOES AWAY AND WHEN U LEAST EXPECT IT, U REVIVE A LOSTEN MEMORY. EVERYWHERE U LOOK OR EVERYTHING U LIKE IS A COLLECTION OF THINGS THE WORLD HAS GIVEN U , BE THAT BY THE ENVIRONMENT OR BE THAT BY SOMEONE. IT IS INEVITABLE TO REMEMBER A RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS UNSUCCESSFUL AND LAUGH ABOUT A COMMENT MADE AT THE TIME, EVEN WHEN NOW U RESENT THE KNOWLEDGE OF KNOWING THAT PERSON. IT IS VERY STRANGE HOW ONE CAN HATE OR GRIEVE SOMETHING THAT ONCE WAS SO GOOD, AND IT IS ALWAYS IMPOSSIBLE TO AFTERWARDS NOT TO FEEL STUPID. MEMORIES AND FEELINGS ARE SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE EXPLAINED YET THE HEAD, AND WHEN THEY COME BACK IT’S THE HEART THAT ACHES. TODAY WAS A DAY WHERE I REMEMBERED, AND HOW SILLY WAS I AT THE TIME, AS I AM NOW, WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY WISH TO NEVER END A RELATIONSHIP IN RAGE. BUT THEN ALL THAT IS LEFT FOR IS TO BE ENDED IN HYPOCRISY. MAYBE I’M HYPOCRITAL IN SPIRIT ALWAYS TRYING TO BE LIKED AND NEVER FORGOTTEN; MAYBE IT IS AN EXCUSE TO COVER THE FAILURE. OR MAYBE IT’S JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE ON COMMAND AND BEING ACQUAINTED OR AT LEAST FRIENDLY IS THE EASIEST SITUATION TO BE IN CONTROL. BUT IT MATTERS NONE, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY, HOW CAN ONE ERASE WHAT LEFT A SCAR… IT WAS NOT BAD, IT WAS JUST INDIFFERENT, AND HAVING SOMEONE FEEL INDIFFERENT TOWARDS U IS NOT A GOOD MEDICINE FOR THE EGO, BUT THEN AGAIN , THEY SAY THAT EGO IS WHAT RUINS A HUMAN BEING FROM BECOMING COMPLETELY SPIRITUALIZED AND BE ABLE TO GIVE LOVE IN LIFE, SOMETIMES I BELIEVE I AM READY SOME OTHER TIMES, I BELIEVE THAT READY IS AN ILLUSION AND U BETTER DO IT NOW, OR U´LL END UP NEVER DOING IT.
