feelings are feelings

lost in full sentiment,
overthinking the attitude i had taken.
the direction by me provided is clear inside of me,
i'm not sure if i want to follow it.

its hard to take courage
and never look back,
its hard to tell someone u love
u dont love them back.

i'm drowning in my own blood
that many thoughts have shed,
i'm feeling suffocated
wondering if the right thing was done.

but i dont love him anymore,
and no tears will i shed for him,
it is a doomed ol` promise made to myself:
no man deserves my sadness

indeed i'm not sad
i feel as if a vegetated state;
contemplative wonderer.

and where will i go with this?
the soul is yet to accept the chosen path
or find a new one.

although my brain is commanding my actions
its most often enough, pulled back by my heart.

i dreamnt a dream of many dreams
and in them one of which he was there.
absurdity had it in that dream, for we were together: happy,
joined hands and shared bed,
and a felicity in the air.

i can't stop but to dream of him this way,
however i always knew it would'nt last.
i presume my heart is trying to say,
that feelings run towards his direction.
but i can't permit the things that were happening to persuit,
the action was taken and i will persist in it.

i don't regret anyhting: loving him, accepting him,being with him;
i dont regret fighting with him and ending it all.
i just miss him, that's all.